


omw

by jxshujiwxnu



Category: GOT7
Genre: Falling In Love, Fluff, I Made Myself Cry, IM SOFT FOR THIS SHIP, Love Letters, M/M, Mental Health Issues, fml why is this so accurate, i hope ill be getting used to this someday, i really dont know what tags to use, this story is hella sad im just warning you, yugbam gets mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:27:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24237274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jxshujiwxnu/pseuds/jxshujiwxnu
Summary: "as long as you run, hyung, you're just moving on and on and on."or pretty much mark running away from his feelings for lim jaebeom
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Mark Tuan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	omw

"hey, did you see mark already?" the black haired male asked, his jacket covered in snow, but none of them could give him a satisfying answer, everyone would only shake their head or shrug.

none of them knew that the boy was already at the airport, waiting for his flight. his phone lit up again, his best friend's name on the screen but he hadn't any intention to answer the call.

"sorry jaebeom" was the last thing he had texted his best friend. "you were right, it's not bearable. i really tried but i just can't anymore."

this made jaebeom worry. what the hell was the older male talking about? he had no clue. "i just can't anymore." the black haired male grabbed a fist full of his hair and sighed, desperate, full of fear. he just wanted to cry.

the messages were sent four hours ago even though it was just around 7.30 a.m.

he knew his best friend, he knew him like a brother, jaebeom knew about his mental issues, he knew that the boy fought his suicidal thoughts each and every day and this caused the growing panic.

what if he had hurt himself? why else did he not attend school? mama tuan didn't support skipping school, it was a big no-no, that's why mark never missed school, no illness was worse enough. so since mark wasn't here already something must have happened last night.

and he was right, something happened. mark chose to move back to l.a. he couldn't take it anymore. "hyung please answer the call" jaebeom murmured into the phone. mark couldn't disappear just like that. his feet brought him to the school's office. he said desperately pleading: "mark tuan, did you hear anything from him?"

the two women looked at him in surprise - they wondered since the two of them used to be together all the time. whenever one appeared the other would follow quickly. "good morning jaebeom" headmaster park's calming voice said. "would you mind to join me in my office for a moment?" the young man followed him in confusion, looked at the old man as he sat down.

"his mother wanted to keep it a secret for now" mr. park started again, his words made jaebeom's stomach aching. "mark left the school."

even though jaebeom should have been relieved because his best friend was alive, he felt closer than ever to vomiting. "he left? why? are you kidding me? he would have talked to me, he would-"

"he left this for you." the man with the beard gave him a small envelope. im jaebeom was written on it with big letters - only mark would spell his name like that, knowing jaebeom hated it.

his eyes locked with the headmaster's once again before he got up from his chair and left the room. jaebeom walked through the heated floors of the building. it was still dark outside, the sun wouldn't waste a thought about rising that soon neither did the snow wanted to stop covering everything in white yet.

anyways, jaebeom was on his way to the school's roof, the door wide open, just as it's always been when he was having lunch with mark.

his hands were shaking as the icy air swept down the hall. but he wasn't cold alone. mark's body was trembling, desperately trying to keep him warm.

his mother was on her way back to the car - he was at the point of no return. why would he anyways? he thought everything through, didn't he?

he had reasons not to stay. it was cowardly running away like that, mark knew that. neither his mother nor his dad did raise him that way, even though his mother tend to say that his father was a coward, that he ran away, just left them. none of them would tolerate his behaviour if they'd know the whole reasons.

"i can't take it anymore." he confessed to his mother crying. "i just can't." he had taken a fist full of his hair. "i don't want to stay here. i want to go to dad, i want to go back home... i just can't take it anymore."

and of course she asked about his friends, about jaebeom, but he was one of the reasons to leave.

"he will understand it." but he did not.

mark didn't care about any of them, he never meant anything to them anyways. otherwise they would have been there for him. they would have been there when he hid and broke down, they would have been there when the tears overcame him over and over again, there for him when he could barely breathe, when his legs wouldn't carry him anymore because he was panicking.

but only jaebeom cared about him, he would pound against the door until mark answers clearly, would spend hours with him just to make sure that he was okay.

jaebeom loved his hyung more than anything but not the way mark loved him. and that was the problem.

" _jaebeom_ " was written in the first line of the letter. " _i don't really know how to start this... i have a lot to tell..._ "

the sloppy handwriting of his best friend made him smile. some words or syllables would be crossed out here and there, correctly rewritten right after.

_first of all: it's true, i'm leaving the school. and i'm moving back to l.a._

jaebeom's world broke apart. his best friend was his everything, he was the family jaebeom never had. mark was jaebeom's whole world.

silently he finished reading the letter, felt some tears running down his cheeks. he quickly wiped them away and sighed. his phone found its way to his hands, jaebeom wanted to know when mark's flight would depart but the result made him freeze. mark's flight would depart in more than an hour.

the black haired male jumped up, ran down the stairs. mark couldn't get away like that! he couldn't leave that letter and disappear without a word.

_i thought about this alot, trust me. i thought it through over and over again, but there was no happy ending. to be honest i even chose the worst ending._

_i lose you. and you lose me._

he kept running downstairs, bumped into countless students, almost ran over a few teachers. "don't run in the building!" an older male screamed but this was an emergency - more or less.

_i have good reasons, really! well, somehow. okay you're my main reason._

as he arrived at the main entrance he saw yugyeom and bambam, who just arrived. "gyeom-ah!" jaebeom called the younger. "when will you stop calling us-" the blonde thai wanted to start the complain but jaebeom didn't has time for that. "yugyeom" he addressed the taller male. "you came with your bike, didn't you?"

he nodded in confusion, eyes met with the thai before jaebeom started running towards the bikes. "you'll get it back!"

"i count on that." yugyeom murmured, called a little louder after him: "drive safe! the code is 05-"

"0502, i know!" then he was gone.

_bet you remember the boy i told you about? the one i like? well yeah, i have a huge crush on him... that guy is you, jaebeom._

the sidewalk wore a thin, white layer, too little to be stuck but just enough to start slipping.

_i am terribly sorry but the way you were there for me, the way you treated me... you touched something in me no one else ever touched. you were so open-minded and caring, you were closer than anyone else but still kept some distance. you're incredibly cool and chic and sexy and at the same time you're the most dumbest idiot i know... you were perfect, you are perfect and you will always be._

the traffic light in front of him turned red, jaebeom tried to stop but the tires didn't want to so he crossed the street at a high speed. some cars honked, people scold him but he didn't care.

_but you were right. loving someone hurts, it hurts so much. being that close to you every day was unbearable, yet indispensable. you kept me alive everyday, yet you killed me a little more with every hour. it's paradoxical, isn't it?_

the world became a little blurred as mark kept scrolling through his texts with jaebeom. how many times did he say 'i love you' and meant it but jaebeom never knew.

_we know each other since primary school, i know all your secrets, i know you at your ugly days, i know you happy, sad, angry, sleepy... i know you better than myself, im jaebeom and that's why i fell in love with you._

jaebeom's sight became blurred as well. how could he have been that blind? that dumb, that inattentive... how many times did he give wrong signs to mark? how many times had he been a bad best friend? why did he never ask for a name?

angry as he was he hit the bike's handlebar, lost control over his vehicle and fell to the ground. "fuck" he growled lowly.

_i know love is a big word, you told me at least a thousand times and i know as well that you don't really like love anymore after everything that happened with your parents. but i'm telling you this, honest and sincere: i love you im jaebeom._

_you're everything i want and always wanted. waking up in your arms, your low, raspy voice in my ears, the room filled with muffled moans and panting - i probably read too much and all this only happens in the stories, i am probably going too far... rereading this, aish, i am so embarrassing..._

jaebeom quickly got up again, wiped a little bit of blood from his lips, ignoring the metallic taste in his mouth. he couldn't lose any more time.

_anyways you were right. you told me that it would break me if i don't tell him that i like him. well it broke our friendship even more, i guess. but you were right anyways. you were freaking right as usual and i hate you for it._

as he kept driving, he spotted the sign guiding him to the airport. the huge building already in sight, bright as it were lit by at least a few hundred lights.

mark didn't know that his best friend was on his way to stop him or at least talk to him one more time.

jaebeom didn't know himself what he really wanted.

most of all he probably wanted to hug him one more time, making sure that he wouldn't lose him. even though he knew he would, wouldn't he?

_i am so sorry that i couldn't tell you in person. i didn't want to risk our friendship like that..._

_you mean the world to me, jaebeom, and even more than that..._

finally he arrived at the airport, jumped off his bike before he ran towards the counter, where two young women looked at him. "how can we help you?"

he stared at them breathlessly. "l.a.... which flight goes to l.a.?" "gate 7." jaebeom started to run again. he didn't even hear the blonde woman asking if he got a ticket.

_but i really have to focus in me now..._

his eyes scanned all the signs. gate 5, gate 6... gate 7!

_this is for my dream._

"flight 0116 to los angeles will be boarding now." that's it... mark's flight.

_this is for my love._

the thin boy grabbed his bag... did he really want to go?

_mark._

that moment jaebeom came around the corner, spotted the older one in front of him. "mark hyung!"

the boy turned around, some tears on his cheeks, silently whispering jaebeom's name. "as long as you run, hyung, you're just moving on and on and on."

mark knew what jaebeom was talking about.

"but you'll be waiting, alright?" he answered. "until i take a step backwards." "maybe i'll be faster than you someday."

mark smiled. "for sure."

and for this very moment the whole world stood still until mark waved at him once, then disappeared behind the glass door. "i love you hyung." jaebeom said soundless, waving back at the boy who was gone already.

and it was the truth.


End file.
